It's Not Easy Being Link
by Midnax
Summary: Being the Hero, Link is subjected to perform some pretty ridiculous tasks. Possible series of drabbles from any and all of the games. Rated T just to be safe. Possible Spoliers.
1. The Bottom of the Well

Yes, it's true. I have a new story up! No, you're not dreaming. It's pretty random, and just came to me as I was reading a different FanFic. This might be, over time, a series of random drabbles about why the things Link is forced to do are rather ridiculous. P.S. This is an Ocarina of Time fic.

There's no "game" to this one, unless you wanna make one up. But I know you're all not that enthusiastic about my Fics. No really, you're all just jumping over each other, eager as beavers (see what I did there?) to win my extremely charismatic (eh?) and well-thought-out games. I know it. Don't like to me.

You'll also be pleased to know that this the shortest story I've ever made. Before this it was "Zero's Day Off" (Loveless fic, very cute) but this one's like 20-ish words less than that. *Mini-celebration*

As always, read and review please. Midna loves thee! Enjoy at your own risk.

* * *

"It's Not Easy Being Link"

"The Bottom of the Well is so easy," Link whined out of the blue. Zelda turned to him, a wary look on her face. The two of them were sitting in cushiony chairs in the Castle's West Wing library. Link was sitting sideways with his legs dangling over one of the arms. Zelda, being a proper and lady-like Princess, sat with her back straight, knees locked tightly together. She closed her book on Hyrulian diplomacy and laid it in her lap, giving the Hero all her attention.

"Pardon?" She asked.

"It was a mini-dungeon I had to do as a child. It's where I found the Lens of Truth. Sort of a prerequisite for the Shadow Temple," he went on.

"Uh huh," Zelda hummed, puzzled by the direction in which this was going. Link took a deep breath and began his explanation.

"Well, in the first room you have to walk through an invisible wall. Then you have to fall through the center of the floor to the basement where there's three Redeads. After ignoring or killing them, you're supposed to collect five Silver Rupees to cause the northernmost door to unlock. Going through it, there are several Fire Keese that, if you're not careful, will burn your wooden Deku Shield. But there's a chest with a spare one in there. Through the next room there are half a dozen Gibdos that you need to kill before they harass you to no end. In one of the room's coffins is a Small Key that will gain you access to the room with an invisible Wall Master and the Compass," he ranted without stopping once, not even for breath.

"Mhmm," Zelda yawned, her head propped up against her palm. What did this have to do with anything, she wondered. "That doesn't sound too easy, though," she added, feigning interest.

"Hang on, I'm getting there," he said, impatiently waving his hand. "All you _really_ have to do," he emphasized this part by swinging his legs off the chair, planting them on the floor, and leaning forward dramatically. "is once you're in the main hall, walk around to the opposite end, play the song of the Royal Family, which magically evaporates some water, of all things, then go back to the front, drop down, and – BAM!" He threw his arms up theatrically. "Dead Hand!"

"That _is_ rather ridiculous," Zelda agreed, nodding.

"Yea, well," Link sighed, lying sideways across the chair again. "That's how being the Hero kind of is, Zelda. You wouldn't understand, being of primed royalty." Link exaggerated. Zelda rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, your life is so hard," she teased, pushing Link's cap forward so it fell over his face.

Adjusting his cap back into perfect position, he shrugged casually. "Hey, it's not easy being Link!"

* * *

And there it is. Is that how the duration of The Bottom of the Well really goes? No, I don't know. Those are the only rooms that really stick out in my memory. So I used them. I use the latter method. I had a walkthrough that explained the whole full-length process. And yes, why have a whole mini-dungeon if there's only like three rooms that you actually need to be in. How accurate was I? I wonder...

If you want more chapters of this, PM me with ridiculous scenarios Link is forced to experience. I would very much love that. I like writing funny stuff.

Review and comment please! It makes it easier to be Link! I loves you all so muches!


	2. Journey to the City in the Sky

(Before I start my A/N, I wanna say that in The Bottom of the Well's A/N I wrote, "Don't like to me." I meant "Don't lie to me." It was bugging me. Phew.)

A/N: Here's another one! Don't get used to me updating so much. I don't know how long it's going last. Anyways, this one is longer, so I'm sorry if it's kinda boring. I never really mind doing this part of TP, but at the same time, it's like "Can't I just get to the dungeon already?" Too much going back and forth, here and there, back over to this place, and it's like WE GET IT! But oh, well. It's a great game, nonetheless. Twilight Princess is my absolute favorite Zelda game. Hey! Stop throwing tomatoes and cabbages at me! I'm entitled to my opinion!

I hope there are some who agree that this "quest" is a little much, to say the least. Please review once you're done reading. I love reviews! Midna loves thee! Enjoy to the best of your abilities!

* * *

"It's Not Easy Being Link"

"Remember when I had to find the shards of the Mirror of Twilight?" Link asked Zelda. They were both lying on their stomachs in front of Hyrule Castle's largest fireplace; it was big enough to fit ten Twilight Mirrors comfortably. Zelda resisted the urge to sigh and turned her dirty blonde head to look at her green-clad friend. She had long since grown used to him blurting out his past experiences, often to complain about how asinine the tasks were.

"Vaguely. 'One in a snowy peak, one in a sacred grove, one in the heavens,' right?" she recited.

"Uh huh, that's it," Link nodded, his enthusiasm growing. "Well, see, I was looking for the last one; the one in the heavens, right?" He waited for his friend to nod before continuing. "Well, I figured it would be pretty easy getting up there, since it wasn't too hard finding the locations of the other two. But, boy, was I wrong. Before I could even _think_ about making it to the heavens, I had to help Ilia get her memory back, since her memory was important to finding out where the City in the Sky was. Remember my old friend Ilia?" Link asked.

Zelda suppressed a yawn. "I think so. Side ponytail, mayor's daughter?" she recollected.

"That's her," Link confirmed, snapping his fingers. "Well anyway, I had to go out of my way to get my memory back. And somehow it was unanimously decided that I would be the_ only_ person responsible with getting her memory back!

"Well first, I went to Telma's Bar, because she always has useful information. She gave me a letter to give to Renado – the shaman. So I went to Kakariko Village to deliver the mail. In return, he gave me a letter to give to Telma! I was just there! So I had to go all the way back to her bar. Once I gave her the letter, she gave me an invoice that I need to give to the Town Doctor. This was a job for the Postman, and I wasn't him! She also said that Ilia had a wooden statue with her that the Doctor might know about.

"So I went to the Medical Clinic to talk to the Doctor – who I had only met once before – and gave him the paper. After a fit of rage at the amount he needed to pay Telma, he huffed about and said he knew about the wooden statue, but spilled foul-smelling medicine on it, setting it outside to air out, but had disappeared soon after. After an awful lot of backtracking, I found out that Telma's cat had stolen the wooden statue, but had it been taken from her by a pack of wild dogs. By that time, things were starting to make less and less sense, but I couldn't stop yet.

"I waited outside South Castle Town for these wild dogs until well after dark. I roughed them up and they gave me Ilia's stinky wooden statue. Going back to Kakariko, I gave the statue to Ilia and she had this big fit and everything came back to her. She gave me a next to useless Horse Whistle, but that's beside the point. She explained that a woman in a hidden town helped her, and Darbus broke the boulders that blocked it, so I could speak with her. But of course, even that was an ordeal. I had to kill a horde of Bokoblins, and the whole time I was thinking, 'Can't one thing I have to do just be simple?' And the answer is, no, apparently not.

"The woman gave me a book of Sky Writing that I guessed Shad would be able to decipher – he likes that kind of stuff – and talked about the City in the Sky. After talking with Shad, back in Kakariko, I had to look for these Owl Statues. There were two in Eldin Province, one in Lanayru Province, one by Lake Hylia, one in Faron Woods, one _all_ the way in the Gerudo Mesa, then of course the original one in Kakariko. Seven of them! And most of them were no walk in a meadow to get to!

"Once that nightmare was over I _once again_ spoke to Shad, and lo and behold there was a cannon behind that Owl Statue! Now I knew how to get to the heavens! It was broken though, so I brought it to Lake Hylia to get Fyer to fix it. Don't ask me how I got it there. After spending 300 Rupees, I was finally, after all that painstaking travelling, able to get to the City in the Sky! Isn't that so extremely ridiculous, Zelda? …Zelda?" He looked over to the Princess, whose head was resting on her arms, eyes closed. "Zelda!" She shoved her shoulder.

She bolted upright, startled. "What? I'm listening!"

"You fell asleep!" Link yelled, near the point of pouting.

"Well, no offense, Link, but that was the most boring story I have ever heard. You literally bored me to sleep," she said rubbing her eyes.

"And I had to live it! That's my point! It's preposterous!" Link shouted, his frustration peaking. "Why am I always forced to do such stupid things? The Goddesses have a sick sense of humor," Link sighed, now hanging his head.

"What would you rather do? Fight and battle with hundreds and hundreds of vicious monsters and beasts, risking life and limb just for a little excitement?" Zelda asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It might not be safe, but at least it's more fun!" Link defended. "Being the legendary hero and being forced to accomplish dull tasks is simply torturous!"

"You poor, poor thing, you," Zelda teased, her words dripping with sarcasm.

"Don't mock me!" Link exclaimed, acting as if he had been personally insulted. "It's not easy being Link."

* * *

A/N: There it is. This is as accurate an account of Pre-City-in-the-Sky as it gets. I know it by heart, since I've done it no less than seven times (no more than eleven), and I looked it up online to double check. If I did do anything wrong, then blame the people who wrote what I looked at. This one drags on a bit, but that is the point, mind you. I bet at least one of the people who read this just wants Link to stop explaining it, but that's the point! So sorry for ranting about something so boring... Now you know how poor Zelda feels.

I think I'm gonna keep up the trend like this. Have it be like a re-telling of Link to Zelda. Maybe it won't always be Zelda, but y'all get it.

Hey! Give me ideas! Is there anything that you've had to do in a Zelda game that was just painstakingly boring or over-the-top unnecessary? Please tell me! Mind you I haven't beaten all the games (But I have beaten 9. WoOt!), but I'll do my best. Someone tell me about their least favorite Anju-Kafei quest! Or all of the Anju-Kafei quests put together! I'll probably do the Triforce Charts and Shards somewhere along the line. Please refrain from doing "optional" pain-in-the-ass quests (pardon my French) unless you just hate them that much. I love your ideas! I love them more than cookies! Okay, that was a lie... but still.

Review, pretty please! It keeps Zelda from dying of boredom. Midna loves you very muches!


	3. Beneath the Well

Good morning, faithful readers! It's almost 2 A.M. as I'm posting this. I wish I was sleeping, but a writer cannot sleep until her work is done. It's such a curse. So, I'm not totally sure if this one is any good. These will probably be half-boring, because it's partly a frustrated retelling of Link's adventures (no pun intended, for those who caught it). But this was SOOO frustrating for me! It took me hours! Everything looks the same so it was very easy to get lost. And that damn hot water cooled down in like four seconds... But the Gibdo's dialogue was entertaining. And their "hints" were so retarded, I loved them. I also wrote the word "Gibdo" enough times that I'm gonna dream about it tonight.

I like that I'm making each "chapter" in a different setting. Makes it diverse. I also love writing the dialogue, it comes so naturally to me. Is it any good to anybody else? I'd like to know.

And, as always, please review, I love reviews. To borrow Ghirahim's words, "It fills my heart with rainbows." (When I saw that in SS I thought I was hallucinating. Spoiler Alert: those are the actual words of the Demon Lord.)

P.S. There might be an occasional present tense. So please bear with that, I'm usually so grammatically correct. Sometimes I just can't catch everything.

Midna loves thee with all her heart-eth! Enjoy as much as the Gibdos will allow. With the help of the Gibdo's Mask of course.

* * *

"It's Not Easy Being Link"

"Leeeeave it! Leeeeave it! I bear you no remorse!" Link moaned dramatically.

"What?" Zelda asked, her elegant brow furrowed in deep confusion. She knew her green-clad friend was sometimes a little… off-beat, but he sometimes worried her.

The Hero and the Princess sat out in the Castle's West gardens, the one within walking distance from her chambers. Zelda sat on an elaborate stone bench, her royal legs folded neatly. Link lay on the grass next to her, arms behind his head casually. The tip of his green cap was resting on his nose and he was concentrating very hard on blowing it up in the air. He flicked his head, tossing the cap out of his face, and looked at his blonde friend.

"Well since you asked," he began, and sat up, crossing his legs. Zelda sighed exasperatedly, regretting her interest in his outburst. Here we go again, she thought. Another rant about something stupid, for sure. She rested her chin in her palm, preparing for a long explanation. "You remember when I was in Termina, right? Well, I was on my way to the Stone Tower Temple, but _of course_, I had to do something pointless and drawn out first. And this pointless endeavor was Beneath the Well, in Ikana Canyon. Oh my Goddesses.

"Ugh, the place was _filled_ with materialistic Gibdos. In order to go through any of the doors, I was forced to give something to a Gibdo that would let them 'pass on.' In the first room, the north Gibdo wanted 'something blue that bestows health;' a Blue Potion. Through that door the northern Gibdo wanted some water, or as he called it, 'H…2…O." Going straight through that next room I found a Gibdo that wanted a 'creepy crawly' bug, and that room lead to a Fairy Fountain. Back through that door, there was a Gibdo that also wanted a bug. Inside that room was just a Purple Rupee.

"I went back through the door and to the previous room. There was a Gibdo in the west that wanted a fish, 'deliciously fresh,' in his words. In that room was a spring of hot water. I took some and raced to the entrance of the Well, so I could give it away before it cooled down. I went to the eastern Gibdo and he wanted a fish. Through that door was, thankfully, a Gibdo to the east that wanted 'something warm that can melt ice and can quench one's spirits.' So the hot water was his. By then I was way past being sick and tired of backtracking and running around like a rabbit.

"Beyond that door was, all of things, a cow! But I figured she was there for a reason so I asked her for some of her milk. I went back into the previous room and the northern Gibdo wanted ten 'refreshing blasts' known as bombs, and behind that door was a Big Poe. I hate those things; they're the reason why I'm still afraid of the dark. Anyway I captured it in a Bottle, you know, just in case. All the way back in the first room is where I went next, where there was an eastern Gibdo that wanted 'something delicious to chomp on, sprouts when watered, and preferably five of them. So five Magic Beans.

"In that room was an eastern Gibdo that wanted ten Deku Nuts, or in his words, 'ten blinding flashes.' Through that door was a Gibdo that wanted a fish. After walking through the very long hallway of this room was a Gibdo that wanted a 'big ghost,' so naturally I gave him the scary Poe. Luckily I had bottled it earlier. All that was in there is another Purple Rupee. Leaving the Deku Nut room, the other Gibdo to the north wanted a bug. In that room was a calcium-deprived Gibdo, so I gave him the 'calcium rich' milk from the cow I met earlier.

"Through that door was a light filled room. I felt like the Goddesses had spared me from wasting away in that horrid excuse for a mini-dungeon. It was so dark and dank and everything looked the same! It was terrible!" Link finished and lay back down, draping an arm over his eyes like it was a traumatizing experience.

"Wow. That seems like loads of fun," Zelda said dryly, suppressing a yawn. "Seems like a maze, it must have taken days."

"Well that was the thing; I only had three days, so I had to hurry it up. I only had one chance. No _way_ was I going to do that again." Link paused for a moment, possibly still reminiscing. "It's hard being the Hero when I have to go out of my way to get to where I'm going!"

"So what does 'leave it' and 'bear you no remorse' have to do with anything?" Zelda asked, still puzzled.

"Oh, 'leave it' is what they said to me whenever they wanted something. And when I gave it to them, they 'bore me no remorse.' It was really weird!" Link said. There was a short pause before the Princess spoke.

"Wait," Zelda said thoughtfully. "You're still afraid of the dark? That's pathetic! Especially for the legendary Hero of Time!" she laughed at the hero, causing Link's ears to droop sadly.

"Well, excuse me, Princess!" Link snapped, an edge of playfulness to his voice. "Not _everyone_ lives in royalty, where you can pay your servants to be scared for you!" He kicked his legs into the air, and as afterthought, added with a smile, "It's not easy being Link."

* * *

Eh? Eh? Bien? Non? Okay, English now. I thought it was pretty good for being spontaneous. Did you? I love constructive criticism! I like their characters. Link afraid of the dark... as if. Pffft...

Anyway, I would more than love reviews, comments, and most importantly, more ideas for this, as well as my other unfinished stories. I've been using walkthroughs to clarify my accuracy, so I think these have been pretty decent with their order and all that. When I feel like it, I'm gonna do the Triforce Charts next, I think.

I'm slowly but surely writing another one, a love story. Won't tell you the pairing. Look out for it!

Oh and for those of you that LOLed at the "Excuse me, Princess!" (whether out loud or in your head) I love you all the most and you're all my favorites!

Anyway, lemme do this right... *clears throat* **"****Leeeeave it! Leeeeave it! Leeeeave me something that will fill my heart with rainbows! *You: Opens Item SubScreen, and equips "Super Awesome Review for Midna" to a C-button** (or X, Y, or Z for GameCubers),** then gives it to me* Thissss! Thissss! I bear you no remorse! *disintegrates away happily***

If you want that completely true prophecy to happen, and have me move on to the next world without a regret, then do that! Thank you, Midna loves you so muches! And leeeeave it!


	4. The Couple's Mask

Welcome, fans! Yep! Another Chapter! I'm so proud of me. You must love me... maybe... Anyway I think it's pretty good, but I wrote it rather quickly. There's a slight difference in this one. Zelda's not in it. Dry your eyes, fans, it's alright. Instead, it's Anju that Link is whining to. Yes, it's the Couple's Mask. I actually enjoyed doing the part where you control Kafei and Link. But in order to do this quest, you have to do the other two Anju and Kafei quests (at least that's how I had to do it). I just don't like that it takes ALL THREE DAYS! Link has to stand there for several hours (in Terminian time, of course) when he could be using that time usefully! Hopefully y'all like this.

Oh, I would like to thank Norkix for giving my this idea. Thank you for being the first person to suggest a topic for INEBL (the acronym for this story). I'll give you a picture if you realize that I wrote this and tell me what you want. ^^

Without further hesitation, please enjoy this latest chapter! Unless you are breast feeding, pregnant, or may become pregnant. Midna loves thy readers!

* * *

"It's Not Easy Being Link"

"So did you finally marry that guy?" Link asked Anju. He was casually leaning over the receptionist's desk at the Stock Pot Inn with his elbows propped up, chin held up by his hands. He hoped she would answer affirmatively. The woman's cerulean eyes scrunched up in confusion, so Link went on. "You know, that guy! Oh, what's his name? Kaffy… Kevin… Kafei! That's it! Did you and Kafei ever get married?"

"Um, no," she muttered timidly. It was a sensitive topic for her, but she remained resolute in front of the kid.

Link groaned. "Aw, man! After all that miserably hard work…" he whined. Anju's brow furrowed further. Who was this strange boy?

"What are you talking about?"She questioned, trying to sound as polite as possible. She was almost wary to hear the answer.

"Well, it was a pain to do. Ridiculously long quest, really. It took up all my time to get done! Three whole days! I'd been hearing around Clock Town that Kafei has been missing, so I put it upon myself to do some investigating. On the first day of my inquiry, I came to you in the afternoon wearing a mask that Kafei's mother gave me and you told me to meet you at midnight in the inn's kitchen. At the meeting you gave me letter to Kafei and asked me to deliver it to him.

"The next day – this was the second day of my search – I put it in the postbox for you, and it was delivered to Kafei by around three in the afternoon. At that time I went to the Laundry Pool and found the back door to the Curiosity Shop. Inside I found none other than Kafei! Big surprise! Anyway, he gave me the Pendant of Memories, which I was supposed to give to you. I guess you don't remember but I gave you the Pendant that same evening.

"On the third day of my investigation, I went to talk to the Curiosity Shop owner to find out where Kafei had gone. He said he went to the Canyon to find the man who stole the Sun's Mask. That evening, I found him waiting for the man – named Sakon – outside his hideout. I helped him out once we were inside it. It was really a rather ridiculous hideout, filled with monsters and puzzles that we had to kill and solve, respectively. And to make everything _that_ much more interesting, if we didn't succeed in time, the Mask would be destroyed.

"We did manage to get it in time, though. We were a great team. Kafei rushed to go and find you, to marry you, all that. And I went too; he told me there needed to be a witness. At the last second he walked in and you guys said your vows and tied the knot. It was a beautiful ceremony, really. And then you and Kafei gave me the Couple's Mask as a sign of gratitude. Here, I have proof. See?" Link ended his explanation by pulling out a white mask that, in his opinion, looked more like a Gibdo than a couple.

Anju had clutched her heart with a hand, bewildered at the fact that the small blond child knew so much about her beloved Kafei. She brushed her worry for her fiancée aside and she was still massively confused. "I'm sorry, young man. But I don't have any idea what you're talking about," she said.

Link all but growled in frustration. "What do you mean? …Wait." The young hero turned his head to the left, looking at the rotating clock. Nine-thirty. He then looked out the small window in the Inn's vaulted ceiling. The ominous moon was hardly in sight.  
Link slapped his forehead to his palm with a sigh. Oh, yeah. It was the first day. He had forgotten that he had played the Song of Time. He was a stranger to all of Termina again.

He turned back to Anju, plastering an apologetic grin onto his face. "Nevermind, ma'am. I'm sorry," he said.

Although she was still slightly suspicious of this green-clad boy, she decided to just sort of move on like the stranger hadn't said a thing. She cautiously smiled back and hesitated for a moment before speaking, her usual professional tone restored. "So, do you have a reservation, sir?"

"Uh, yes, I do. Thank you," he lied, rubbing his temple. He wanted a soft bed to sleep in for a change. The Goron could make it for one night. The redheaded woman gave him the Room Key – to the Knife Chamber, like always – and he went on his way up the stairs. He groaned again. "Just for _once_, I would like to be appreciated for my hard, world-saving efforts. They're all lucky to be alive, and what do I get as a thank you? Absolutely nothing," he grumbled.

Unlocking the Knife Chamber's door and instantly slumping onto one of the room's twin beds, he rubbed his neck, sighing. "It's not easy being Link."

* * *

I would like to point out right now that the Stock Pot Inn lobby does not have a vaulted ceiling or a window in it. So no flames for that. I did that for the sake of this story. Eh? Eh? You like?

Oh yea, and when I said in the Beneath the Well A/N that I'd do the Triforce Charts next, that was obviously the computer typo-ing and I _actually_ had written The Couple's Mask. Obviously. I'll do that, just don't know when. Thank you all for the fabulous reviews! It really does fill my heart with rainbows.

Ideas, comments, constructive criticism, threats, death threats, favorites, and suggestions are Debbie's life support. Reviews keep the Moon from falling! So tell me what you think! Please and thank you! Midna loves you very muches!


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